Loosing Your Identity

Its a huge wake up call when you suddenly realise you dont have an identity. You are a nobody. It will suddenly dawn on you when you notice that you are being taken for granted. It could start with those at home, it could be your immediate family members or even friends. Suddenly, your needs are secondary, if not unimportant. You dont have plans. You dont have opinions. You dont have a say, period. Thats when you sit back and realise, hey, when did I not matter. Unfortunately, it must have been going on for sometime before you actually took notice of it. But no one cared to clue you in, as your needs did not matter. You are a nobody.

Its actually an awakening, albeit a rude one. Its an eye opener. For literally, your eyes pop open in disbelieve. The how's, why's, when's all become jumbled questions in your mind racing for attention, racing to be addressed first. Denial, anger, frustration, shame all become a cocktail of emotions bubbling up to the surface in hot tears. Rage aimed at everyone who has treated you less than you are. Ultimately, rage at yourself, for letting yourself become a nobody.

Then, the journey begins. The journey of self discovery, reinvention and creating a new identity. You begin to re-examine where your journey has taken you thus far, and where you wanted to be. You will ask yourself if you want to continue with the experience of the journey as it has become, realign the track you have let derail, or totally abandon the whole journey itself, and create a whole new destination from this very moment onwards.

That is exactly what I have done. I have abandoned my old destination. I have commenced cleaning up the debri that I have let fall on the tracks of my heart, soul and my conscience. I am charting my new destination. And I am excited to begin my journey anew. This time I am determined to not let my life derail. This time, I will be somebody.