“The emotional, sexual, and psychological stereotyping of females begins
when the doctor says, ‘It’s a girl.’ ”
- Shirley Chisholm
February 24, 2011
February 9, 2011
WE Quotes: 08/02/2011
“Man endures pain as an undeserved punishment;
Woman accepts it as a natural heritage.”
- Anonymous
February 2, 2011
Life Lessons: Part Two
Now I know why they call it "life lessons". It is because you learn lessons literally at every point in your life. Continuously. I have learnt quite a few this early in the new year. They have been eye opening, albeit painful. But I know it has been long due in coming.
I am definitely taking it positively, learning from it and using it to boost my inner strength and spirit. I will use these lessons to shape the decisions and new directions I will take for myself henceforth. For I can only move forward and change what is in front of me. Nothing I can do about the past. I know its better for me to leave it there, in the past.
I am definitely taking it positively, learning from it and using it to boost my inner strength and spirit. I will use these lessons to shape the decisions and new directions I will take for myself henceforth. For I can only move forward and change what is in front of me. Nothing I can do about the past. I know its better for me to leave it there, in the past.
February 1, 2011
04/01/1970
Sometimes, there is no running away from facing the hard truths of reality. It is of no point shedding tears that were inevitable, as we would have known all along it was coming. Even if your heart breaks in disbelieve at the betrayal, your mind reminds you that it was anticipated.
But if it was anticipated, then can it be called a betrayal? If yes, that is what it was, a betrayal, then who betrayed whom? Is my ignorance and reluctance to face the truth a betrayal to myself? Or is the person whom I have been sheilding all these while the betrayer for forcing me to face the truth?
Nevertheless, the feeling of being betrayed remains: 04/01/1970
But if it was anticipated, then can it be called a betrayal? If yes, that is what it was, a betrayal, then who betrayed whom? Is my ignorance and reluctance to face the truth a betrayal to myself? Or is the person whom I have been sheilding all these while the betrayer for forcing me to face the truth?
Nevertheless, the feeling of being betrayed remains: 04/01/1970
WE Quotes: 31/01/11
“Because I am a woman, I must make unusual efforts to succeed. If I fail, no one will say, ‘She doesn’t have what it takes.’ They will say, ‘Women don’t have what it takes.’ ”
- Clare Boothe Luce
January 12, 2011
New Year Resolutions 2011
Its been eleven days since the New Year, and I have yet to give a hint as to what my new year resolution (if any) is going to be for 2011. To tell you the truth, I am one of those who, every year, makes a resolution, fails in going through with it, and then say, its a whole lot of crap making these resolutions in the first place. I am so so guilty of that.
But this year, I decided to let actions speak louder than words. So I decided to play the wait and see game. I was spying on myself. I am glad to report that I seem to be on track with whatever resolutions I have made for myself. The first resolution is about my health. I decided I should get back to exercising regularly and stop using my beloved treadmill as a rack for my whatnots. I have started running regularly and I throughly enjoy it as I have in the past. I have also picked up swimming, and try and hit the pool with my son at least three times a week. Its not only a good form of exercise but adds to my quality mummy and son time.
The second resolution was to try and find myself at least a part-time job (with an external employer, not my own business) so that I can finally say that I am gainfully employed again. After a couple of years away from the work scene, I am ready to wet my feet again. Plus, I am truly fed up of being asked by members of my family, immediate and extended alike (a taboo of being Asian), why I am not back at work and what do I do all day! It can be really really frustrating and demoralising. Funnily, the concept of a full-time, hands-on mum is a worthless 'profession' in some circles. Anyway, back to the point. Well, I have been actively looking and have sent my CV to a couple of prospective employers todate. I am getting a nice feeling already even though I am currently joining the abyss of the job seeking part of the population.
The third resolution is to spend as much time and attention to my kids. Its not that I have not been doing this all along. I just want to pay even more attention, consciously, and be very much apart of what is going on not only in their lives, but also in their minds and hearts. I am seeing them grow so fast over the years and my time with them is so structured with the various activities and functions that I do with them as a mum. I am want to establish a friendship with them this time. I want to talk more, listen more, share more and conspire more with them. I want them to know I am on their team, on their side, all the time, everytime.
And finally, the last resolution is about me. I want to learn to put myself first. I want to prioritise my needs. I want to be equally as important as the rest of the members of my family. I want to speak my mind more often. I want to have the last say equally as much. I want to be heard. I want to be visible. I want 2011 to be about me.
Now, is this not a wonderful start to an exciting and hopefully amazing new year! Happy New Year everyone. May God bless you with your resolutions, hopes and dreams for this new year too.
But this year, I decided to let actions speak louder than words. So I decided to play the wait and see game. I was spying on myself. I am glad to report that I seem to be on track with whatever resolutions I have made for myself. The first resolution is about my health. I decided I should get back to exercising regularly and stop using my beloved treadmill as a rack for my whatnots. I have started running regularly and I throughly enjoy it as I have in the past. I have also picked up swimming, and try and hit the pool with my son at least three times a week. Its not only a good form of exercise but adds to my quality mummy and son time.
The second resolution was to try and find myself at least a part-time job (with an external employer, not my own business) so that I can finally say that I am gainfully employed again. After a couple of years away from the work scene, I am ready to wet my feet again. Plus, I am truly fed up of being asked by members of my family, immediate and extended alike (a taboo of being Asian), why I am not back at work and what do I do all day! It can be really really frustrating and demoralising. Funnily, the concept of a full-time, hands-on mum is a worthless 'profession' in some circles. Anyway, back to the point. Well, I have been actively looking and have sent my CV to a couple of prospective employers todate. I am getting a nice feeling already even though I am currently joining the abyss of the job seeking part of the population.
The third resolution is to spend as much time and attention to my kids. Its not that I have not been doing this all along. I just want to pay even more attention, consciously, and be very much apart of what is going on not only in their lives, but also in their minds and hearts. I am seeing them grow so fast over the years and my time with them is so structured with the various activities and functions that I do with them as a mum. I am want to establish a friendship with them this time. I want to talk more, listen more, share more and conspire more with them. I want them to know I am on their team, on their side, all the time, everytime.
And finally, the last resolution is about me. I want to learn to put myself first. I want to prioritise my needs. I want to be equally as important as the rest of the members of my family. I want to speak my mind more often. I want to have the last say equally as much. I want to be heard. I want to be visible. I want 2011 to be about me.
Now, is this not a wonderful start to an exciting and hopefully amazing new year! Happy New Year everyone. May God bless you with your resolutions, hopes and dreams for this new year too.
November 25, 2010
A Life Lesson
You learn something new every day. Sometimes it may end up becoming a life lesson. I have a feeling that I am about to learn one of those this week. A life lesson. I know that at the end of it, I must make a decision based on what I have learnt. And that decision will shape the rest of my life. It is daunting and yet, I am excited. I think I have needed this for a long time now. And now that it is finally here, I am looking forward to see what the outcome will be.
October 13, 2010
Impromptu Holiday!!
We finally went for our first holiday for the year! It was so sudden and unplanned that I cannot believe we had a blast of a time. We usually plan so much ahead for a holiday. As we have so many constraints, like family, work and other commitments, we try to plan it to the tee to ensure that the kids especially, have a fun time. But I guess, sometimes, you just have to go with the flow. I am so glad we did.
When my husband first brought it up, I thought he was just being sweet. He was actually going on a work visit and thought perhaps my son and I could tag along. Well, I finally decided that we should infact go. This is one of the rare, impromtu decisions I have made and I am so gald it turned out great. More than great in fact. My son is happier and wiser for the experience. I needed to break away from the monotony of my daily routine. My hubby managed to get us away on our first holiday for the year. But most importantly, we had a memorable time as a family.
I guess, sometimes, its good to just say, "Hey, what the hell." and go with the flow. I am glad we did.
When my husband first brought it up, I thought he was just being sweet. He was actually going on a work visit and thought perhaps my son and I could tag along. Well, I finally decided that we should infact go. This is one of the rare, impromtu decisions I have made and I am so gald it turned out great. More than great in fact. My son is happier and wiser for the experience. I needed to break away from the monotony of my daily routine. My hubby managed to get us away on our first holiday for the year. But most importantly, we had a memorable time as a family.
I guess, sometimes, its good to just say, "Hey, what the hell." and go with the flow. I am glad we did.
August 5, 2010
Weaning Period For Mums
My little baby is growing up so fast. April 2010 has been an exciting month for him as he started Year 1 at school, lost two of his baby teeth and joined a football team for Under 6. He has been having a blast with it all, handling everything that has been thrown his way with such grace, charm and courage. My heart is bursting with pride for the little man he has become.
Ok, thats not the only thing bursting. I am having a tough time coping with all these changes in his life. While he is embracing everything like a champion, I am bawling my eyes out at the thought of my precious little baby growing up right before my eyes. Everytime he shows me that he can handle things on his own, I feel torn between feeling proud of his achievements, and sad that he is no more a baby who depends on me for everything.
It has become so very clear that he does not need me as much as he used to. The irony is that, since he was born, I have been nurturing and guiding him to be just this, an independant, brave little boy. And now that he is exactly that, I am feeling lost at the thought of not being needed as much as before. He has grown and evolved to become someone strong and independant. And my role has evolved and is threatening to become obsolete.
As the primary care giver I was there full time to take care of him. I used to feed him, dress him, clean him, hold him, play with him, teach him, and do everything big and small with him. I felt so all important that my role with him, in a day, was so hard to define. But these days, its become much easier to do exactly that. My role has become definable. I am now the cook, the cleaner, the driver, the chaperon, the bodyguard, the teacher, and so on. My role as mum is becoming more functional now, where I silently performs my various roles to facilitate his daily needs. Otherwise, this new little man feels self sufficient taking care of things himself.
I realise now that mothers need a period of weening off from their children whom they have been caring for day in, day out. No one realises the emotional roller coaster a mum goes through when she sees her child taking his or her first steps towards being independant. How long that weening period should be, is difficult to define. If you are lucky, you may give each other a few months to adjust to the changes and new roles that each is evolving into, but if you are not so lucky, then a few weeks is something you should be grateful for. I was not that lucky in my transition from becoming a 'need you all the time for everything' mum to 'I can do it myself' mum.
One minute, I was walking him to class in the morning to help him settle into a new academic year and environment and three days later, he 'tells' me I should just drop him off in front of the school gates and drive away and that he will see himself to class. I was shocked. Well, proud and shocked at the same time really, but still the feeling of not being needed any more makes the shock factor more painful than intended. I tried to buy time coming up with all kinds of excuses why I should continue to walk him to class for a few more weeks, including trying to scare him with stories of children being kidnapped, but he was not buying any of it. So in the end, I had to do what I had to do. I begged him to give me time to get used to the idea that he can do it all himself. I was desperate, and I knew nothing short of the truth was going to let him relent. So with begrudging understanding, he is letting me walk him to class for just one more week. I am so very grateful for the week long weaning period I have got.
Ok, thats not the only thing bursting. I am having a tough time coping with all these changes in his life. While he is embracing everything like a champion, I am bawling my eyes out at the thought of my precious little baby growing up right before my eyes. Everytime he shows me that he can handle things on his own, I feel torn between feeling proud of his achievements, and sad that he is no more a baby who depends on me for everything.
It has become so very clear that he does not need me as much as he used to. The irony is that, since he was born, I have been nurturing and guiding him to be just this, an independant, brave little boy. And now that he is exactly that, I am feeling lost at the thought of not being needed as much as before. He has grown and evolved to become someone strong and independant. And my role has evolved and is threatening to become obsolete.
As the primary care giver I was there full time to take care of him. I used to feed him, dress him, clean him, hold him, play with him, teach him, and do everything big and small with him. I felt so all important that my role with him, in a day, was so hard to define. But these days, its become much easier to do exactly that. My role has become definable. I am now the cook, the cleaner, the driver, the chaperon, the bodyguard, the teacher, and so on. My role as mum is becoming more functional now, where I silently performs my various roles to facilitate his daily needs. Otherwise, this new little man feels self sufficient taking care of things himself.
I realise now that mothers need a period of weening off from their children whom they have been caring for day in, day out. No one realises the emotional roller coaster a mum goes through when she sees her child taking his or her first steps towards being independant. How long that weening period should be, is difficult to define. If you are lucky, you may give each other a few months to adjust to the changes and new roles that each is evolving into, but if you are not so lucky, then a few weeks is something you should be grateful for. I was not that lucky in my transition from becoming a 'need you all the time for everything' mum to 'I can do it myself' mum.
One minute, I was walking him to class in the morning to help him settle into a new academic year and environment and three days later, he 'tells' me I should just drop him off in front of the school gates and drive away and that he will see himself to class. I was shocked. Well, proud and shocked at the same time really, but still the feeling of not being needed any more makes the shock factor more painful than intended. I tried to buy time coming up with all kinds of excuses why I should continue to walk him to class for a few more weeks, including trying to scare him with stories of children being kidnapped, but he was not buying any of it. So in the end, I had to do what I had to do. I begged him to give me time to get used to the idea that he can do it all himself. I was desperate, and I knew nothing short of the truth was going to let him relent. So with begrudging understanding, he is letting me walk him to class for just one more week. I am so very grateful for the week long weaning period I have got.
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