Countdown to Christmas Menu - Starters | My easy cooking by Nina Timm.

Countdown to Christmas Menu - Starters My easy cooking by Nina Timm.

Fog

I can't seem to wrap my mind around anything these days. I feel blank. I feel confused about everything. It's like a fog has blinded my senses and I can't seem to get out of it.

I don't know if there is something troubling me subconsciously. I can't put a finger on anything specific. I mean, I worry about my son, my family, my sanity, etc. Maybe I am just a worry wort. I know I am wasting precious time and energy worrying about things that have not happened, and may not happen.

I guess I should just let things be and deal with it as it comes? What was that saying again? Live in the moment? Be present with now? Something like that. I should try it. Okey, I am trying it now. I am letting go.

A Friend Or Foe?

For the very first time after nearly four years of schooling, my son said to me this morning that he did not want to go to school. He did not have a specific reason. Infact, he had quite a few. All of which, I knew, was not the real story.

Of late, he has been having some issues with a friend. Or should I say, a boy who was once a friend. I don't really know the root of the problem, but there has been punching, pinching, name calling and other forms of bullying going on. My son seems to be on the receiving end although I fairly suspect he does retaliate in kind. At first I thought it was just boys rough housing during play. But it has gone on for awhile and I think it is time to put an end to it.

My immediate reaction was to go all komando on the other boy and his parents if need be. I mean, he is  after all bullying my baby! But thankfully I had some sense to hold my emotions back. It was not easy though, let me tell you. We just want our children to go to school, learn, have fun, make friends and come home safe. When things like this happens, you feel like you have lost control and that you cannot keep your child safe anymore. That really is a scary feeling.

I talked it through with my son, outlined right and wrong behaviours and told him how he should stand up for himself. He asked if he could hit back if he was hit first. I was at a delimma. I have been sending  my son to taekwondo classes ever since he was three years old. They essentially teach that you have a right to defend yourself if attacked. They teach you to react, to protect yourself. Never to instigate. What was I to tell him? No? That he could not protect himself? It was his right to do so.

So I told him this. I said, if the other boy hits him or tries to hurt him in anyway, protect himself, but immediately report to a teacher and tell them exactly what happened. I explained that defending himself was to either block or push the other boy's hands or legs away from him. In other words, deflect his attacks. I also told him that his voice is a powerful weapon and to shout out loudly if he was threatened. Shouting 'No!' or 'Stop!' loudly will bring unwanted attention to the bully and he will be intimidated.

Have I given him the right advice, I do not know. For now, I think it will do. He has promised to try and do as I said. He wants to try it out to see if it actually works. I will keep a close eye on this issue. I just pray it will be resolved soon before it escalates into something else.

My Little Blessings

I can't begin to imagine how a woman must feel when she finds herself unable to conceive. Especially so if she and her partner so desperately want a child. I cannot pretend to empathise with the pain and emotional anguish they must go through.

I am lucky that I had been blessed with a son more than five years ago. The day he was born was the happiest day of my life. He continues to be the centre of my universe and not a day passes by when I don't look at him with wonder and awe and give thanks for the fact he is mine.

However, for a long time now, my husband and I have been trying for another child. Being unable to conceive again, I find myself in the position of the woman I described above. I keep reminding myself that it is not the same, as I have already been blessed with a child. I feel selfish and ungrateful for wanting another child when so many childless women out there would trade positions with me in a second.

But how do I begin to explain this need in the centre of my being for more children. I feel a void in my soul, an emptiness within me that I cannot explain. Its more than a craving, its a huge whole in my heart that is screaming to be filled. Even as I hold my son close, I feel that we, as a family are not complete as there should be more children around us. Our children. My children.

To lessen this pain, this longing, I fill my heart with guilt. I tell myself that I am truly selfish. Not only have I been blessed with my son, I have a neice who is practically mine, as she spends most of her time with us. I take a second look and realise, I have had two kids with me all this time, but I have been so blind. She calls me mum. Need I say more? Both she and my son are as close as siblings can ever be. They only have each other as they are the only grandchildren for both sets of grandparents. They are each others lives as much as they are mine.

So I stand corrected, I am blessed, twice over, and I give my thanks for them.

Quick Meals: Mushroom Stir Fry

Here's a recipe that I never tire of cooking. I love mushrooms. Any kind, any style. Plus, when it's this easy too prepare, well, it's a winner. This is especially a favourite of mine for a couple of reasons. One, its loaded with yummy tasty shrooms and more importantly, my son loves it!

1 can button mushrooms - sliced in half
100g oyster mushrooms - torn into big pieces
1/2 - 1 medium sized red onion - diced
4 cloves garlic - minced
1 cup full of chopped coriander
salt and pepper to taste
2 tbps olive oil
1 tbps butter (this is optional but my son loves the buttery taste!)
chicken stock or water - as needed

Heat olive oil in a pan. Sautee onion until it softens and lightly browns. Add garlic and sautee until fragrant. Add mushrooms and stir fry until soft. At this stage add a little chicken stock or water to aid the cooking process of the mushrooms. When done, add butter and mix evenly. Add pepper and salt to taste. Before removing from heat, add coriander and mix. Do not let the coriander leaves wilt too much.

How Do I Get There?

I feel that I am destined to get lost sometime soon. Literally I mean. This week has been about venue changes for my kids activities and that too at the very last minute. I got to know yesterday that my kids school performance for their Annual Day will not be held where it was initially intended to be. And this is for tomorrow! The Chinese Assembly Hall? Where's that? They did attach a map but, what? where? I guess I still have about twelve hours to figure out how to get there. Probably play tag with other cluless mums.

Then today, I find out that our weekly football practice will not be held at the usual venue due to "unforseen circumstances" (wonder who that troublesome joker is?) and that they have moved it elsewhere. Of course, a map was duly attached with the email they sent.

I wonder if I am the only one who has trouble reading these maps. They are never accurate and don't take into account all the changes and redirected routes that is a norm when living in a hyper-evolving city. Ever notice how a once familiar place looks alien only after a few months of not visiting it? Happens to me all the time.

So I am beginning to think that this is a sign. A sign that I should either give up driving once and for all or get myself a GPS? Okey, so giving up driving is a little bit drastic and out of the question. That leaves getting a GPS. A GPS may solve this imminent problem I have finding my way around this city. However, it would also give me something new to fret about. l would have to figure out how to program my destination into that damn thing! I am so doomed!

The Outsider

I'm handicapped and wheelchair bound
Expected to sit and not make a sound
Just to smile and let the world go by
With saintly patience and never sigh.

Inside my head thoughts come and go
Ideas are born which long to flow
Flow from my lips and link me with others
But words sound strange so no one bothers.

My tongue and lips do not as I ask
I cannot perform the simplest task
But I have a mind and I'm still there
Don't lock me out in your ignorance there.

Talk, though I seem not to understand
Touch me, include me, hold my hand
I am alive and I have time to give
Let me share in the life I was given to live.

                                                  - ANON

WE Quotes: 26/5/2011

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” 

                                                                                                                       - Anas Nin

The End Of The Reign of Terror

I am not politically inclined. Although I like to keep abreast with the goings on at home and internationally, my debates are limited to my circle of family and friends. However, with the execution of OBL recently, I find myself getting very upset with certain groups of people who seem to have forgotten who OBL was exactly.

Reading their blogs and twitts, I can't help but think some of their criticisms of the actions taken by the USA and Obama is more to serve themselves personally. I think their show of affront is for purely selfish political gain, to be seen as humanitarians, with the people's rights and interest at heart. Whether or not the person they seem to be defending was a vicious, heartless, ruthless, terrorist who masterminded the murder of thousands of innocents worldwide, both from his own religion and that of others, does not seem to matter to them.

Ever since the devastating September 11 attack of the Twin Towers in the USA, the world has been grieving and living in fear. The victims were not only those who perished in the mindless attack, but also from all over the world who grieved for those innocent lives who were lost. Every single person's life changed in every part of the world because of OBL's horrifying action that day. In addition, the attack was not just on a particular religion seen as the enemy by the OBL camp, but in fact, every single religion practiced around the world, including Islam, the religion in whose name OBL claimed to be fighting the war for.

Thousands of Muslims around the world grieved and suffered because of his actions. They were labeled as fanatics or extreamists or terrorists in which ever part of the world they lived in. The peaceful and harmonious lives they lived up to then was shattered irrevocably because one man thought he had the right to impose his views and understanding of his religion on others. I personally have felt sad when I read about the labels and unjust treatment that Muslims around the world sometimes suffer because of this unfortunate stigma which was bestowed upon them by the unscrupulous OBL.

At the end of the day, if the debate is about whether or not an independent power has the right to invade another country and take action against a wanted criminal, well perhaps I will say no, of course not! That is if that wanted criminal was a jewel thief or swindled billions of dollars in the world's stock market. On the other hand, as in this scenerio, the USA was in fact in pursuit of a mastermind criminal, an international terrorist, a mass murderer so vicious that every single person's life around the world was perpetually at stake. In this case, it had to be done. In this case, it was justified. In this case, it was the beginning of the end of a reign of terror.

Life As An 8 Year Old Kid In The 21st Century

My parents say that I am lucky to be living in the 21st century. They compare the opportunities and things that I have today to when they were young.

From the stories I hear from my parents and grandparents, I realize things were indeed very different for them then. There were no computers, that is, no Facebook, Twitter or surfing the internet! There was no cable television, no Play Station 3, no Gameboy. The board games and other electronic toys I have accumulated over the years were never heard off. I can’t imagine going even one day without any of these things.

When I ask what they did for fun, they get all nostalgic and regale me with stories about how they would get together with friends and neighbours after school and play whatever games they could come up with. There were games that involved stones, rubber bands, slippers, of course the infamous police and thief, riding bicycles, playing in the rain and such. There was no need for fancy toys and gadgets to have the kind of fun that they had. Just as quickly however, they reiterated that, that was during their time, but now, things were so different that it was not possible for me to have the same experiences.

My parents went to a public school. I attend an international school as my parents want to give me a better quality of education. I hear them talk about how competitive it is nowadays “in the real world”, and how this school will give me the advantage I will need for when I am older. They also like the fact that the school hours are longer and so, the more time I spend in school, the less idle time in my hands, and hence, the less time for mischief. I always look forward to school as it is where all my friends are.

After school activities for my parents were about getting together with friends to play until they were called in for either lessons or dinner. Only when they were much older did my father take on football for which he was team captain and my mother attended singing lessons as per her parent’s wishes.

I, on the other hand, was sent for piano and singing lessons when I was just three and a half years old. My mother was told that it was an ideal age for a child to be introduced to such lessons as it helped with our development. When I turned five, my parents banded together and enrolled me in Taekwondo. I remember bawling my eyes out for a whole month before resigning to my fate. They were determined that I learn self-defense, especially because I was a girl.

I don’t ever remember being asked if I liked all these extra activities I was taking. It was just part of what I was expected to do everyday. It was the norm for everyone. These were opportunities given to me to better myself. I really can’t complain as I do enjoy myself at times. Perhaps when I am older, I would have a say in what I choose to learn. I am thinking modern dance will be nice.

So yes, things are indeed very different from when my parents were younger. They lived in times that were more innocent, carefree and fun. I, on the other hand, inadvertently have no choice but to live life that has been shaped and molded so differently from theirs. However, compared to them, I have much to look forward to.

I have to think about a competitive future, in play, education and work. I have to be careful with whom I talk to, with the company I keep, in case of bad influences. I have to be under strict supervision when I surf the internet or the various social networks I use, in case I fall victim to cyberspace predators. The movies I watch, the music I listen to, the books I read, will all have to pass parental censorship of what is considered safe and appropriate. My social time with my friends will be strictly planned, monitored and scrutinized so that our fun time is first and foremost, safe and secure from the ever present threat of evil that is around us. Notwithstanding all this, I also have to watch out for incidences of bullying, muggings, kidnapping, sexual exploitation, natural disasters such as floods, earthquake, tsunamis, and more.

I am indeed living in interesting times, in this 21st century.